Of Scarves and Gnomes
by Fanatic97
Summary: In the Vein of the comics an adventure begins as Calvin deals with a Scarf and Hobbes Deals with some gnomes.


**Calvin and Hobbes is owned by Bill Watterson. **

**Calvin****: FINALLY we were worried that you were NEVER going to finish our story..thanks to those stupid robots. **

**Actually**** this is a one Shot...**

**Calvin: A WHAT!? **

**Well I want to get back in the feeling of writing you guys so...**

**Calvin: Then write already and stop screwing around so we can do this thing and finally complete the story! **

***eye roll***

**BTW none of this is canon to the Imagination Trilogy despite Belle's presence here. **

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Calvin shivered as he stood by the bus stop, wrapped up in a jacket with a scarf, over shirt, three sweaters, snow pants and three pairs of socks. Clearly someone was overdressed for the weather.

Next to him stood Hobbes who only had a scarf on as he looked down at his compatriot. "You know, I knew that you wanted to be a tiger at one time but I don't think that your get up is going to cut it."

Calvin blew out some air and tries to move his arm to allow the scarf to pass by, and eventually just blew it out of his face , though it began creeping back up.

"This whole thing was Momphs," he said as he pulled down the scarf again, ",mom's idea, it's apparently supposed to start getting very cold and she doesn'tmph!," he was interrupted again by the scarf and he once again pulled it down, this time his face getting a little red with anger. ", she doesn't want me to get sick or anything like thatUMPH!" he finished as the scarf folded over mouth.

Hobbes chuckled. "Are you sure that's the reason, maybe she wants a new lawn ornament, since you can barley move."

Calvin grumbled in anger as he once again pulled down the scarf ad stuffed into his jacket. "Not after all my snow sculptures they don't want too, mostly because Dad is scared that lawn gnomes will be more terrifying than my snow creatures."

"hmm I agree with your dad." Hobbes said with a shiver. "they creep me out."

"Sissy." Calvin said. "They are just figurines, they crack apart if you hit them with a rock hard enough..or anything.."

"Says the kid who was scared of Snow Goons just based on how they looked."

"They could move and they could have torn us limb from limb!" Calvin shouted and placed his hands out and extended. "Lawn Gnomes just sit there and do nothing except stare at you!"

"That's whats so creepy, they never stop staring...or smiling..or just looking at you like you are their next meal, ready to strike forth and tear you apart limb from limb!" Hobbes said as his pupils dilated and he began shaking, Calvin however just rolled his eyes.

"Now you know how it feels to be in bed with you when your hungry."

"Hey!,: Hobbes shouted and sounding a bit offended, ",it's not my fault that I get hungry, I'm s tiger we eat ..a lot..." Hobbes said with a proud expression and then Calvin blew a Raspberry.

"A lot nothing, that's all you seem to do half the time is eat, at least when I am not around and Mom blames me!" Calvin pouted angrily..as the scarf snapped up and flew over his mouth again, much to the 6 year old anger.

"Gah!,Curse this stupid scarf!" He said and tires to pull it off, but it was tired so tight that it barley got past his nose, he cried out angrily and turned towards Hobbes and yanked it down.

"Hobbes, help me untie this thing!"

Hobbes cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you knew how to wear a scarf." he said as he looked at Calvin's back.

"I did, until Dad told Mom that we were doing it wrong and made sure that I had it tied like this today!" he spat angrily as Hobbes looked at the knots, yes knots.

"I think whoever told your dad how to tie scarf's never actually wore one, I mean why would you want it wrapped around this tight!?" He asked as he tired to undo the knot, but got his finger stuck and yanked it out.

"Whoever it was I want to hit them upside the head with a Calvin ball!" Calvin shouted just as Susie walked up to them. She was dressed a bit lighter than Calvin was but was still ready for the cold weather all the same, but when she got to Calvin she stared at him with wide eyes.

"Calvin..you do know that we're not up to our chins in snow yet right?"

Calvin sneered in response. "Of course I know that Derkins, but I have parents who I assume are trying to do me a favor by wrapping me up like this when in reality I doubt i will make it onto the bus!" He said, right as the scarf snapped over his mouth again.

Susie rolled her eyes at Calvin's weirdness as usual though one was forced to admit it was a bit funny and tragic to see that Calvin was unable to move at the same time you were wondering if his parents were as insane as Calvin. Soon the bus arrived and Susie got on while Calvin waddled on like a Fat penguin shooting glares at everyone as he made his way to his seat behind Susie. Or tired to as when he tired to sit down h sat right back up.

"Stupid pants." he grumbled and he tired again, with no such luck. He growled angrily then the bus began driving and Calvin slammed into the seat and ended up laying on it face first. "Well this..sort of works.." He said with an angry sigh as the bus drove along. "If I die I will haunt this bus and my parents till the day they die!" He swore.

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Meanwhile back at Home, Hobbes watched as the bus drove away with Calvin on it until it turned a corner and drove down another street, out of sight and Hobbes chuckled to himself.

"I pity the people that have to put up with Calvin today...well almost everyone." He said, referring to Moe. As he turned to head inside and read some Comic books he turned his head as he heard some voices coming from Susie's house.

"I still cannot believe that you went out and bought those things, they are tremendously creepy!" He heard Susie's mother say as her Dad opened the door to the house carrying a rather large box.

"So what, at least they aren't as creepy as Calvin's Snowmen art, besides from what I heard, they protect ones garden from Evil spirits." He said as he began walking toward their garden near the side of the house

"Yes, I bet that they will protect our Garden from these "evil spirits, maybe you should work on protecting them from that boy next door." Susie's mom said as she stood in the doorway. "Odds are he might just take up attacking the things."

"Oh if he does, I will sue his family, this is our property, besides I am sure that Calvin won't damage our property."

"He hits Susie with Snowballs."

"He's a kid, he'll grow up, and personally I think that she overreacts whenever he does it."

Is there a point to this? I thought this was about Calvin and Hobbes, not Hobbes watching the Derkins! Can we get to the point already? We are? Okay good.

So anyway, Susie's Dead set the Box on the ground and opened it up..and then pulled out a Garden Gnome, and Hobbes eyes went wide and his jaw dropped in horror. It stared at him with a smiling cherry face and bright brown eyes, it looked directly at Hobbes and Mr. Derkins didn't really seem the notice..mostly because he was holding it at the angle that it was staring at Hobbes.

However the Tiger wasn't paying attention to that detail, as the hair on his back, and tail was all poofed out in total fear. He stood still for a moment, before in a flash he was running for his life screaming toward the front door, and then he he smashed into the front door, thew it open, ran inside, tripped on the rug, then crawled to the stairs, and tripped on every single one of them until he made it to Calvin's room, where he hit the door, and then threw it open and tripped on the rug inside and the door slammed shut bonking him on the head.

He was still screaming the entire time, which we have cut out to spare you the ear bleed...thank us later.

As Hobbes got up, he moved Calvin's dresser in front of the door, and then shut and locked all the windows and lowered the blinds, turned off the lights and then shoved Calvin's desk in front of the closet before stuffing all the covers ad clothes he could get to under the bed until there was a noticeable pile of clothing lifting the bed up a little bit.

Picking up a baseball bat, Hobbes walked carefully toward the blinds and opened them up just a crack to see that Mr. Derkins was still setting up his Garden Gnomes, having not heard the sounds of a screaming Tiger who ran up the stairs like a herd of Rhinos was after him.

"Things of evil." Hobbes said, narrowing his eyes at the Gnomes as Mr. Derkins finished setting them up and walked back inside. Hobbes continued to stare out the window as if he was trying to bore holes through it and then the Gnomes. "I cannot believe this, I thought that Susie's family were normal people who never did anything crazy!" Hobbes said, then he paused.

"Well except for Susie when Calvin hits her with snowballs, even then I think it's an overreaction." He mused, but then continued to look out the window with a scowl. "This shall not stand, not in the slightest!"

He then raced over to Calvin's desk and pulled out a newspaper and quickly folded it into a paper hat. "Looks like today president Hobbes is going solo!" he said bravely and then grabbed the G.R.O.S.S Journal and a Pencil.

He threw it open and began writing. _"Due to Dictator for Life being sentenced to twelve years of learning for six hours every weekday today I, President and Numero Ono, Field Scout, biggest of the cats Hobbes shall be going on a dangerous mission into enemy territory alone. As I write this on the eve of battle, I am unsure if I shall make it out alive. My only regret is that I didn't doodle on enough comic books, gouge on enough tuna, meet a tigress babe, and well you get the idea.  
><em>

_-P_resident and Numero Ono, Field Scout, biggest of the cats Hobbes. __

Hobbes shut the journal and wiped away a tear from his eye. Then he grabbed the Baseball bat and with a roar charged the door, only to run smack into the dresser.

"Okay first I shall move the dresser, then I shall declare war!" He said dramatically then he paused and grumbled as he realized that no one was listening and went to work moving the dresser.

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Meanwhile, at School, Calvin was standing next to his Locker, as he removed layer after layer of winter clothing into his locket, which was already mostly full except for his over shirts and sweaters and his scarf

"eraugh!"

Which evidently was still refusing to come off. Calvin was tugging and pulling at it, trying desperately to remove it but to no avail. He tugged and soon wrapped one end of it in the Locker door and tired slamming it shut then running.

"Augh!" he cried as he sailed backwards and slammed into his locker. With a groan Calvin got up and began pulling on the end. "Stupid Scarf stupid Co worker who told dad how to tie a scarf!" he swore under his breath. As he pulled and tugged on it, h reached back grabbed the knots. "Okay, let's try and undo these then, they can't be that hard"

Take a wild guess how this ended up.

Needless to say when Calvin walked into Belle's class he hands were literally tied up around his neck in a way that kind of looked a bit unnatural, the scarf was over his entire face and he was still grumbling underneath it.

Oh and he was late too,

The entire class stared in shock and Belle, who was drinking some pop, saw Calvin and spit it out, all over Moe and half the front row, then turned to give an angry glare toward the bully. Moe scoffed and shook his head angrily, sending the pop all over the other students.

"Hey for once I didn't do this to Twinky, he did this by himself!"

Belle glared and then turned to Calvin who began mumbling something intelligible and so Belle strode over and then yanked down the scarf. "Hold it in place that thing is a demon out to kill everything!" He exclaimed.

"Calvin, who did this to you, because whoever did it I am going to drag them -"

"I did this because my dad learned from someone at work how to "correctly" tie a a scarf which involved knotting it five times over!" Calvin said and everyone in the class blinked.

"Well, that stinks I was looking forward to dragging someone by their rear to Mr. Spittle" She scowled angrily. "But seriously your Dad thought that this was a good idea?..and how many sweaters are you wearing!?"

"Three."

Everyone's eyes went wide and Belle's jaw went slack. "Does your family just not like heaters!?"

"Have you met my Father!? Calvin said and she rolled her eyes and walked behind Calvin, letting go of the scarf, which snapped up over Calvin's face and completely covered it.

Belle reached down and got onto her knees and began trying to untie the knots and Calvin's hands. However this proved to be difficult. She scowled angrily and then went and grabbed a screwdriver and tried pulling it apart but the screw driver, the same could be said for the hammer the drill, the mallet an then her own fingers as well,

"Well this stinks." She said angrily as Calvin mumbled something unintelligible. Then Mr. Spittle walked in.

"Ms. Michelle, what is going on in here, someone reported to me that they could hear the sound of power tools being used in..here..." He stopped as he found himself staring i n shock at the sight of Calvin and Belle tied up together.

"There is a very good reason why we are tied up like this, and Calvin can back me up on it as can my students." Belle said confidently as crossed his arms.

"Okay..I'm waiting."

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A few hours later, Calvin was walking through the woods with Hobbes, now dressed a little lighter.

"So first your teacher, then your Principle, then the vice principle, then the school consular , and then the school nurse all got caught in that on tiny scarf!?" Hobbes said, trying to hold back a grin, while Calvin glared at Hobbes with a look of rage.

"It's not that funny!" He claimed as Hobbes began laughing as Calvin frowned and crossed his arms as his friend fell over onto the ground laughing, they waited for a good five minutes before Hobbes finally stopped laughing.

"Well how did all finally get out of that mess?" Hobbes asked as they once again began walking and Calvin grinned. "That's the best part, I did because they all pulled back and then I just popped my head out, they are all still tangled up in the nurses room and everyone got sent home early."

Hobbes laughed. "So what do your parents have to say about that?"

"My Dad insists that Mom tied the scarf wrong and Mom told Dad that he could take his knots and..well I didn't hear the rest cause she threw me outside." He turned up toward Hobbes. "So what did you do all day?"

Hobbes grinned. "Did you see the piles of dust by the Derkins Garden?"

Calvin paused and thought it over for a second. "I did why?"

Hobbes chuckled darkly. "Well let's just say that a Solo G.R.O.S.S Mission was suc-"

Calvin stopped and whipped around toward Hobbes. "A SOLO!? mission?!, I authorized no such thing, how dare you assume that you can do stuff that results in destruction of Susie's property without me!"

"Yes and then you would get grounded!" Hobbes pointed out and Calvin paused, thinking it over and then shook Hobbes paw. "Excellent work First Tiger." He said a grin. ",when we get back to the house, Medals all around!"

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**And Insert your won ending here XD **

**Really I just did this as an excuse to try and write Calvin and Hobbes again XD **

**As for what happened with the gnomes and the staff and the scarf, well I will take a page out of Bill watterson's book, and let you all decide.**

**Till then Read and Review and yes this does mean that I am going to continue to do the Fall of Imagination..soonish XD**

**Read and review :D **


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